It’s time.

Vee died three years, one month, and a few days ago.

When it was the two of us with incomes, keeping the apartment and maintaining all the other expenses wasn’t as difficult. Now, it is.

I had been weighing the pros and cons of scaling down from this one-bedroom-plus into a studio since her passing. It’s smaller and easier for this autistic brain to maintain and keep clean. I’ve never been a lover of big spaces (in case driving a smart car didn’t give that away). I had hesitated because after layoff, divorce, long-term unemployment, having to walk away from a lot of accounts when Vee passed—has decimated my credit. The latest offer for the upcoming year now forces the decision to move.

Emotions are not my strong point as an Aspie. But having to make a major decision like disposing of almost everything you have and starting over in a new place somehow ended up an emotional one. It’s part letting go, part staring into the unknown (especially when affordable studios are hard to come by in Florida).

But move I shall. Looking at going back to Lakeland. It’s more central to Orlando, Tampa, and Plant City, where all of my activities and appointments are. I’ve lived there before so I’m familiar with the area. It’s beautiful compared to Tampa and Orlando. And a studio apartment is a lot less expensive than Tampa or Orlando.

It’s kind of like coming back full circle. I started out on my own in a studio apartment out in California, where I probably would have stayed had relationships not happened, then a one-bedroom when I got married the first time, then a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, then another one-bedroom apartment after the divorce, then this one-bedroom-plus with the second wife, and—now that she’s gone—back in a studio.

The target is end of September, when my current lease expires. I’ve started putting things up for sale (see the Moving page) and figuring out the few things that I plan to bring to my new home. I’m pretty much shedding everything except the computer equipment and the tables they’re sitting on, more or less.